This is how my release into the wild has gone so far.
My roommate is in Europe with her sisters for a few weeks, which I was really looking forward to.. I’ve never had a roommate before, and I was excited to get a little break from all of the new and being around a whole person for a few minutes every day. (Sorry to disappoint, but mostly we just work, sleep, and netflix. It’s full time up here.)
Turns out, it took me only three days of complete solitude to make me start to get lonely. TBH I’m a little disappointed in myself. Three days alone is not anywhere close to my solitary confinement record. (I have no idea, but I’m assuming it’s probably somewhere around two weeks?) I’d like to say I’m taking this time to throw myself into my relationship with God, but really what I’ve done is read Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker, and then try to process what I learned. It’s a LOT. For real. Go read that. It’s a call to action like you’ve never seen. Basically, it breaks down the “Go and make disciples” command that Jesus gave us. I love it. It gave me a whole new perspective on running my business and how I can use it for big-picture stuff. (Ie, I emailed TOMS and they sent me a less than enthusiastic reply. LOL SORRY TOMS. I’LL JUST START MY OWN BUSINESS.)
I’m pretty sure most people do the sane thing and work for somebody else. (Also leave their houses more often) I’m working on getting my shit together to have a kickass company- I have a basic idea of how I want to operate, but choosing a business format is difficult. What’s best for my business? Who can know. And I don’t know any local humans to turn into employees yet. The transition from college to the workforce is remarkable similar to the one from highschool to college.. All of the scary and new, without any of the chances to meet people. #selfemployed lol
Last year, I told a friend that I was worried about moving to a new place and working for myself.. =SHUT-IN. She told me not to worry! Surely I will meet people. Yeah that advice was not helpful. I’m honestly not adventurous; I just have a very high fear threshold RE: life. I do not walk in the face of my fear, I’m just not bothered enough to Not do something. What worries other people, like moving to a completely new place with Zero friends or starting your own company, these things do not scare me. Unfortunately, I do not pair that lack of fear with any motivation to leave my house and explore the world around me. Being around people and then meeting and speaking to them does not inspire joy in me. When I lived in New York, I basically worked and watched Netflix. So, not much has changed in two years. Contracting mono the second week I got here was honestly a bit of a relief; ahh. now I have a valid excuse to stay at home for three weeks!! Success. I will 100% be a shut-in when I am 90. At this point, it’s just unavoidable.
I think that this year will be a good learning time before I send myself to France, where I won’t know anybody + language barrier. See? Most people would be afraid to move to a different country. I just feel like I want to, so Imma do it.. #yolo. But I should probably practice meeting people while it’s easy and I know how to speak to them.
Ok. Time to parent my ass with some Grace Adventure* shit. Setting myself a baby step to my future: I will talk to someone at church tomorrow, and try to get in on a Bible Study. Two baby steps. Boom. Actually, going to church would probably also be classified as a baby step. #sorryjesus
Yokay. The future has arrived. Let’s go meet people while we still know how to speak correctly.
*it looks weird, but it’s honestly the best thing you could ever do for yourself. Don’t watch the video. Just trust me.